2. "Disorientation Day" Episode Review (POOR)
"What about orientation?!" - Sage, frustrated that orientation is being skipped
"No orientation, only disorientation!" - Hemlock, answering Sage's question
"You should apologize for that posture, sweetie! You look like an invertebrate!" - Amaryllis, taunting Rosemary after bumping into Sage
"I'm just glad the hazing's over. It's over, right?" - Parsley, towards the end of the episode
It's true that real-life schooling can be boring, which is why this episode should be skipped; unfortunately, it can't because it is the single most important episode of the entire series. I have listened to one reviewer criticize the series premiere for being slow; but in my opinion, "Disorientation Day" is slower.
The plot is used to introduce not just High Guardian Academy, but also its teachers, and while it is nice to see variety at the show's disposal, not all of them are relevant or important again. The best example is the centaur teacher, because I don't even know his name, and he barely appears on the show.
The teachers should have been introduced when necessary, and even then, they're not interesting enough to carry the episode. The same applies for the classes that they teach, which includes ethics, martial arts, and blacksmithing.
The latter is egregious because Parsley has such an easy time that she is allowed to enter Moss Phlox's third-year class. As a result, blacksmithing is redundant for her. I should also mention that Phlox's voice is difficult to understand, even if that is the purpose, and the fact he is just barely more relevant than the centaur teacher
As much as Professor Redbud almost kills her students in potions, at least something tense and interesting happens; but her class is not relevant again in later episodes. This even applies to "Lost Cause" and "Cave of Vinca."
The only four characters that are truly important for the rest of the series are Amaryllis, Snapdragon, Carroway, and Olive. Rosemary develops a rivalry against Snapdragon and Sage develops one against Amaryllis. In addition, Thyme becomes leery about Olive watching her.
As much as Rosemary and Sage become disheartened that they do not share the same classes, due to being on different tracks, this is irrelevant. Later, they have classes with each other again, like they do in "Crushing Obstacles." Beyond that, they can be together for lunch and after school; they even share the same dorm.
I don't understand the intention of Everything Hours; and while it's basically Study Hall, it may as well be recess. Without supervision, students can get away with doing nothing. But also, if students can pick what to learn, then they may as well forgo the tracks they are on. And to top it off, Everything Hours is not mentioned again after this episode.
For these reasons, a hefty chunk of the plot should have been condensed or redacted, and that is why I sympathize with Hemlock, or the Crone of the Triad for being impatient, if not rude towards the incoming students. The majority of the episode is a series of events that are not entirely important.
One element I do like is hearing each of the students guess their way through their guardian vows. Each character has their own unique personality that influences what they say, and there is neither a correct nor wrong answer.
The main focus of the episode should have been Sage's expectations turning against her. She naively believes that life at High Guardian Academy will be good, but she is proven wrong. Not only does the curriculum exclusively teach new magic, but old magic users are forced into adopting just a new standard that they may not agree with, or even want. Obviously, Amaryllis happily, if not joyously mocks her for using old magic, but she alone is not enough to demonstrate the conflict between old magic and new magic or the conflict between old magic users and new magic users. All of this however, is only mildly addressed.
As much as the title is a cute play on the word "orientation," there is nothing disorientating about this episode. Instead, it is disappointing.
How disorienting is it?
previous episode review: Journey to Lyngarth
next episode review: Transformations